# 33 - do not go into haunted houses/mazes/ or anything that is suppose to be spooky.
For god sake the world is already scary enough you don't want to make it worse for yourself. How can you tell the zombie doll from a real one in that thing aways. That just screams eat me
# 34 - Don't be a hero
I agree with zombieland on this one. While they amended it at the end. You in the whole do not want to be a hero. A hero normally dies saving everyone and no one tends to give a damn, because that is life.
# 35 - Don't be a clown
If zombies are taking over the world, don't dress like a clown. Clowns are scary as is. If you become a zombie you will scare everyone 100% more.
# 36 - don't let vermin and pests scare you
With humans taken down as the dominate species, the rodents and bugs will multiply a lot more. So if you scream because you see a cockroach, you are so screwed.
#37 - learn to swim
odds are that zombies can't swim. so a good bet is to find an island to live on that is not invested. odds of that happening are unreal. But if the water is deep enough they won't mess with you.
# 38 - don't be bothered by smells
odds are you won't get to shower every day. Some people will be pretty ripe. So you got to deal with it. Besides zombies won't smell pretty. Rotten flesh and emptied bowels are horrible smelling. so just chill and learn that it will be a stinky world.
# 39 - go to the country
odds are that since the lower population in the country and the fact that disease is normally spread in the species that being in the country will be not only nice and relaxing. Less zombies.
# 40 - be prepared for the worse
Unless the zombie infestation takes over in less than 24 hours I will have to say there will be rioting, looting, and a whole bunch of senseless destruction. So odds are the food stores and such will not have as much food as the movies have. the lawns will not be mowed and such. So be prepare for the worse.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
third batch of rules for a zombie infested world
# 21 - get shelter
Shelter is a place where you can sleep without being attacked. Be it in a house, a tree, or on a boat, get a shelter even if it is only for the night. You always need to get rest.
#22 - ensure you have water
You need water to survive. If you know how to purify it even better. A human needs water. If they don't have some sort of hydration for 3 days they will die.
#23 - Only useful pets
While pets are okay for making you feel better mentally and emotionally. You don't need your hamsters, rats, cats, dogs and such unless they are useful. Finding food, alerting you to trouble, guarding you, finding water, etc. If your pet can't be useful, then you should just let it go.
# 24 - If you are bored go to the library
people don't go to the library too much now a days, so odds are they would be deserted in a zombie attack. Odds of a zombie librarian is like the lowest. The buildings tend to be strong brick buildings and hard to get into in any sense. So it is a good place to bed down for the night. They have comfortable chairs normally and you can read books or watch movies. And they normally have a back up generator. The biggest downside is they don't have food normally. Though some have introduce vending machines as of late. So it could be a good start off place.
# 25 - stretching.
It keeps you limber, you don't have to do it before you run for your life, but you should do it once a day so your muscles don't get all seized up.
# 26 - leave religion out of it!
People don't like over religious people now. If you are in the world with zombies ruling the earth. While you may pray you do not want to talk about god. calling it judgment day or saying people should repent when zombies are coming out of the woodworks to eat you alive is not going to be very useful to you or them. Even more if you try to shove your religion onto others while they are trying to survive will most likely get you tied to a post to die.
# 27 - Don't get drunk
While you think it may be the only way to get though the zombie world, a drunk person does stupid stuff. Your aim will be off, you will wander around loudly, and get eaten. ow. Unless you are a working drunk. Which people say they are but never are, then you should just stay away from the booze.
# 28 - if your smart find a cure
All the movies say don't do this, but if you can survive and still have the ability to find a cure, do it! you could end the suffering. would you most likely? no But I am not going to tell people not to try.
# 29 - avoid theme parks
While we all would want to go to an abandoned theme park because we think we could ride all the rides and play all the games easy and such. Don't believe it. You need someone to operate the machines for starters, you need power if you still have it. And all that noise would attract zombies. You are better off putting up a giant sign saying "eat me!" for the zombies
# 30 - get the high ground.
While not all zombie movies have the zombies suffering from rigger mortis, moving slow and such. Being able to see them coming is a good point. Most movies don't have zombies able to climb due to their stiff and unyielding muscles and rotting flesh.
# 31 - learn your enemy
This is another reason to get up high. be it a tree or a light pole or a balcony, watch how the zombies act. if they are slow or fast. If they are super strong or not. If they are smart or not. If you don't know what zombie type your dealing with then you are doomed. For all you know you could be dealing with a infei. which is a spell on corpses to attack. So in that case you would get the controller. Know what your dealing with.
# 32 - have a game plan
I am not telling you that you have to travel to avoid death or stay in one spot and make it your fort. You just have to have a game plan that plays to your strengths. Figure it out and use it!
Shelter is a place where you can sleep without being attacked. Be it in a house, a tree, or on a boat, get a shelter even if it is only for the night. You always need to get rest.
#22 - ensure you have water
You need water to survive. If you know how to purify it even better. A human needs water. If they don't have some sort of hydration for 3 days they will die.
#23 - Only useful pets
While pets are okay for making you feel better mentally and emotionally. You don't need your hamsters, rats, cats, dogs and such unless they are useful. Finding food, alerting you to trouble, guarding you, finding water, etc. If your pet can't be useful, then you should just let it go.
# 24 - If you are bored go to the library
people don't go to the library too much now a days, so odds are they would be deserted in a zombie attack. Odds of a zombie librarian is like the lowest. The buildings tend to be strong brick buildings and hard to get into in any sense. So it is a good place to bed down for the night. They have comfortable chairs normally and you can read books or watch movies. And they normally have a back up generator. The biggest downside is they don't have food normally. Though some have introduce vending machines as of late. So it could be a good start off place.
# 25 - stretching.
It keeps you limber, you don't have to do it before you run for your life, but you should do it once a day so your muscles don't get all seized up.
# 26 - leave religion out of it!
People don't like over religious people now. If you are in the world with zombies ruling the earth. While you may pray you do not want to talk about god. calling it judgment day or saying people should repent when zombies are coming out of the woodworks to eat you alive is not going to be very useful to you or them. Even more if you try to shove your religion onto others while they are trying to survive will most likely get you tied to a post to die.
# 27 - Don't get drunk
While you think it may be the only way to get though the zombie world, a drunk person does stupid stuff. Your aim will be off, you will wander around loudly, and get eaten. ow. Unless you are a working drunk. Which people say they are but never are, then you should just stay away from the booze.
# 28 - if your smart find a cure
All the movies say don't do this, but if you can survive and still have the ability to find a cure, do it! you could end the suffering. would you most likely? no But I am not going to tell people not to try.
# 29 - avoid theme parks
While we all would want to go to an abandoned theme park because we think we could ride all the rides and play all the games easy and such. Don't believe it. You need someone to operate the machines for starters, you need power if you still have it. And all that noise would attract zombies. You are better off putting up a giant sign saying "eat me!" for the zombies
# 30 - get the high ground.
While not all zombie movies have the zombies suffering from rigger mortis, moving slow and such. Being able to see them coming is a good point. Most movies don't have zombies able to climb due to their stiff and unyielding muscles and rotting flesh.
# 31 - learn your enemy
This is another reason to get up high. be it a tree or a light pole or a balcony, watch how the zombies act. if they are slow or fast. If they are super strong or not. If they are smart or not. If you don't know what zombie type your dealing with then you are doomed. For all you know you could be dealing with a infei. which is a spell on corpses to attack. So in that case you would get the controller. Know what your dealing with.
# 32 - have a game plan
I am not telling you that you have to travel to avoid death or stay in one spot and make it your fort. You just have to have a game plan that plays to your strengths. Figure it out and use it!
next batch of surriving in a zombie infested world.
here are more rules for a zombie infested world.
#12 - Memorize.
No I am not saying stuff for a pop quiz, but you won't be able to carry papers with rules or important information like what plants are poisonous and what not. And if you think that you can get away with an ipad or something, think again if the government doesn't shoot off a bomb to kill the zombies sending off a epa which kills electronics, think that all the people in the power plants are not going to keep working overtime for you to get power easy, or maintain it when their workers could be killed. so remember stuff or you will be killed by the zombies or your own stupidity.
#13 - don't have the annoying person with you.
If you and a person you find annoying are both alive. I don't care if it is the only other person for 1,000 miles. If you disliked, hated, or they just drove you bonkers before zombies were attacking and killing they will only get worse. You are under enough stress you don't need to add more senselessly.
#14 - be fine eating processed food
If zombies ever did attack. The processed prepackaged food will last a while. You will most likely finish off them frozen food section in the first month or so. Same with the fridge. So don't get picky
#15 - be fine becoming a vegetarian.
Truthfully you will have no idea what meat based beings will carry the virus or bacteria that would make people into zombies. So you will most likely end up not eating any meat in fear of turning into a zombie. I mean even check zombieland, it was a contaminated burger that started their's.
# 16 - Learn to be a gatherer or be a gardener.
If you roam about learn the fruits and veggies and such. That way you can find where they are and when they are good so you can eat. If you are a stronghold type who holds up on a land with am impassable wall and lots of guns. You will want to know and use gardening to ensure you got good.
#17 - Put your bias ways behind you.
If you are in a zombie infested world and you are a racist or a bigot or something like that, you are so going to get killed or left to kill. If the person you run into is someone you hate for no reason expect for if they are gay, black, white, hetero, female, male or something like that then I hope that person shoots you. After all you are in a world full of flesh eating monsters, last thing you need is to put off a possible ally because of your out of date beliefs that shouldn't have existed to begin with.
# 18 - Know how to fight
Even if you are a weak person, you should learn how to fight in some sense. With a weapon is preferred. Staffs, spears and swords are good in zombie worlds. I prefer the staff since you can whack the zombies back and off a building and watch them fall. Guns are nice, but eventually everyone runs out of bullets and reloading is a bitch, that is if you even remember the shells. Think of Shaun of the Dead, they didn't have enough bullets for the horde, they forgot them on the bar, and then got really lucky that they went off killing the zombie nearest to them.
# 19 - there is no screwing in a world of zombies
It sounds like I am being a jerk but seriously, when will you have the time? Check High school of the dead, while the main character is surrounded by skimpy dressed hot girls he and his other male classmate do not get to screw any of them since survival takes a higher priority. If that wasn't the only reason, just think of the fact that a pregnant woman (if your straight) is very hard to deal with normally, even harder when you have to protect them. And then you will have to deal with a baby. baby's cry. Crying would attract zombies. then you die and zombie babies inherit the earth! many problems.
# 20 - don't go to the old folks
the elderly with limited mobility and weakening bodies would be a prime target for zombies. so I bet they will be the first to go. Nothing against them. If they are able body to survive that is great. But realize they will have more problems than anyone else. They would be good to tell how to survive insane situations as they most likely have.
#12 - Memorize.
No I am not saying stuff for a pop quiz, but you won't be able to carry papers with rules or important information like what plants are poisonous and what not. And if you think that you can get away with an ipad or something, think again if the government doesn't shoot off a bomb to kill the zombies sending off a epa which kills electronics, think that all the people in the power plants are not going to keep working overtime for you to get power easy, or maintain it when their workers could be killed. so remember stuff or you will be killed by the zombies or your own stupidity.
#13 - don't have the annoying person with you.
If you and a person you find annoying are both alive. I don't care if it is the only other person for 1,000 miles. If you disliked, hated, or they just drove you bonkers before zombies were attacking and killing they will only get worse. You are under enough stress you don't need to add more senselessly.
#14 - be fine eating processed food
If zombies ever did attack. The processed prepackaged food will last a while. You will most likely finish off them frozen food section in the first month or so. Same with the fridge. So don't get picky
#15 - be fine becoming a vegetarian.
Truthfully you will have no idea what meat based beings will carry the virus or bacteria that would make people into zombies. So you will most likely end up not eating any meat in fear of turning into a zombie. I mean even check zombieland, it was a contaminated burger that started their's.
# 16 - Learn to be a gatherer or be a gardener.
If you roam about learn the fruits and veggies and such. That way you can find where they are and when they are good so you can eat. If you are a stronghold type who holds up on a land with am impassable wall and lots of guns. You will want to know and use gardening to ensure you got good.
#17 - Put your bias ways behind you.
If you are in a zombie infested world and you are a racist or a bigot or something like that, you are so going to get killed or left to kill. If the person you run into is someone you hate for no reason expect for if they are gay, black, white, hetero, female, male or something like that then I hope that person shoots you. After all you are in a world full of flesh eating monsters, last thing you need is to put off a possible ally because of your out of date beliefs that shouldn't have existed to begin with.
# 18 - Know how to fight
Even if you are a weak person, you should learn how to fight in some sense. With a weapon is preferred. Staffs, spears and swords are good in zombie worlds. I prefer the staff since you can whack the zombies back and off a building and watch them fall. Guns are nice, but eventually everyone runs out of bullets and reloading is a bitch, that is if you even remember the shells. Think of Shaun of the Dead, they didn't have enough bullets for the horde, they forgot them on the bar, and then got really lucky that they went off killing the zombie nearest to them.
# 19 - there is no screwing in a world of zombies
It sounds like I am being a jerk but seriously, when will you have the time? Check High school of the dead, while the main character is surrounded by skimpy dressed hot girls he and his other male classmate do not get to screw any of them since survival takes a higher priority. If that wasn't the only reason, just think of the fact that a pregnant woman (if your straight) is very hard to deal with normally, even harder when you have to protect them. And then you will have to deal with a baby. baby's cry. Crying would attract zombies. then you die and zombie babies inherit the earth! many problems.
# 20 - don't go to the old folks
the elderly with limited mobility and weakening bodies would be a prime target for zombies. so I bet they will be the first to go. Nothing against them. If they are able body to survive that is great. But realize they will have more problems than anyone else. They would be good to tell how to survive insane situations as they most likely have.
Friday, August 22, 2014
how to surrive zombies the first few rules
Hey I am Halie. My one friend loves zombie movies and I am okay with some. But now I have a few rules for living in the zombie world. For all those who think they can cut it.
rule #1. I am going with zombieland here. Cardio. You got to be able to run fast when you need to. So be in shape or at least be able to squeeze pass a horde without getting bit.
rule #2. You got to able to let go.
Be it your morals so you can shoot a zombie in the head who was once a person. deal with the loneliness when all your friends are now zombies and eating your family like a box of chicken wings. Or be it that you have to move place to place. You can't let emotional connections hold you back from surviving.
rule #3 . No red foods.
No cherries, bbq, chicken wings, etc. We all know when we eat some stuff like sloppy joes we can look up and honestly say we look like zombies. So if you are eating on the run, which considering there is billions of people out there and most of them would be zombies you are, anything that makes you look a zombie when you run into other living people is just going to get you shot and killed. They aren't going to check to see if you have a working mind. It is a panicked times!
rule # 4. buddy system/ look out
You want to have someone to keep watch while you snooze. Last thing you would want is to wake up dead or as a zombie because you wanted to catch some z's. So have a friend or someone you trust to stand watch, and visa versa. protect each other from the zombie horde.
rule # 5. Don't be a prankster
Pranksters are already not funny and even I want to punch them right now. But if the world is full of zombies and you prank your friends that you are getting eaten you are either gonna get shot, or left for dead. And if not, someone is gonna kick your butt good. take a note from bill murray from zombieland. Pranks can lead to accidental death. Ow.
rule #6. be or make friends with stockpilers/creators
You want to be or have useful people around. If you have can't find food, and you know someone who has stock piled enough food for the next decade make friends with them. They might be useful. If you need to make your food stretch for longer a good cook would be useful, also they tend to be killer with knives so an excellent member of a zombie killing team.
rule #7. Do not be or have loud mouth people in your group.
One thing all zombie movies can agree on, zombies can hear. So if you make a cute joke and then someone is laughing so hard that you can hear them down the street, just leave that person behind. they will attract zombies and get you eaten. You want someone who can be loud if they need to be, but pretty much anyone who is always loud you want to keep away.
rule # 8. Beware of Egos
If you can avoid it, stay away from anyone who has an over inflated ego. More so if they are manipulative. Because they will make it sound like they took out every zombie for the last 8 miles. They will boss you around and not be very cool. You should have a leader, but not one who wants to lead. One that basically smacks the egotistic person over the head to lead or someone who is a closet egomaniac instead of an upfront one. Due to the fact if they are closet egomaniac while they do want to look good, they do it for you to praise them.
rule # 9 know how to drive in someway and pick your vehicle carefully.
Your car/truck/van or whatever it is you ride will be your first layer of protection in most cases. So you want to be able to drive without wrecking it and you want to be able to not be crushed in an instant by flailing bodies flying at you.
rule # 10 beware of bathrooms/ depends
like zombieland pointed out, zombies will attack when you present them an easy target. sitting on the toilet or hovering outside in the air is one, since you don't think "run" with your pants around your ankles. Zombies are like lions will strike in a group when you are at your weakest. So either you have an armed guard when you go to the bathroom or you wear stuff like depends. It could be a flying shit bomb! And if everyone is a zombie you will be able to find more adult diapers out there.
rule # 11 improvise!!
You have to be able to improvise in a world with zombies. Mainly with weapons. You never know when you will get attacked by what and whom. While sleeping with a baseball bat would be nice, it will bet broken and bent. Take note and use your surroundings. Guns run out of bullets, but if you blow up the zombies you will have them destroyed. You could beat a zombie with a fan for all I care. This also lends itself to directions as you do not know what could block you. Or dinner plans as unlike a zombie your meal you won't find huddle in a corner crying for it's mommy.
this is just the first 11 of many more.
rule #1. I am going with zombieland here. Cardio. You got to be able to run fast when you need to. So be in shape or at least be able to squeeze pass a horde without getting bit.
rule #2. You got to able to let go.
Be it your morals so you can shoot a zombie in the head who was once a person. deal with the loneliness when all your friends are now zombies and eating your family like a box of chicken wings. Or be it that you have to move place to place. You can't let emotional connections hold you back from surviving.
rule #3 . No red foods.
No cherries, bbq, chicken wings, etc. We all know when we eat some stuff like sloppy joes we can look up and honestly say we look like zombies. So if you are eating on the run, which considering there is billions of people out there and most of them would be zombies you are, anything that makes you look a zombie when you run into other living people is just going to get you shot and killed. They aren't going to check to see if you have a working mind. It is a panicked times!
rule # 4. buddy system/ look out
You want to have someone to keep watch while you snooze. Last thing you would want is to wake up dead or as a zombie because you wanted to catch some z's. So have a friend or someone you trust to stand watch, and visa versa. protect each other from the zombie horde.
rule # 5. Don't be a prankster
Pranksters are already not funny and even I want to punch them right now. But if the world is full of zombies and you prank your friends that you are getting eaten you are either gonna get shot, or left for dead. And if not, someone is gonna kick your butt good. take a note from bill murray from zombieland. Pranks can lead to accidental death. Ow.
rule #6. be or make friends with stockpilers/creators
You want to be or have useful people around. If you have can't find food, and you know someone who has stock piled enough food for the next decade make friends with them. They might be useful. If you need to make your food stretch for longer a good cook would be useful, also they tend to be killer with knives so an excellent member of a zombie killing team.
rule #7. Do not be or have loud mouth people in your group.
One thing all zombie movies can agree on, zombies can hear. So if you make a cute joke and then someone is laughing so hard that you can hear them down the street, just leave that person behind. they will attract zombies and get you eaten. You want someone who can be loud if they need to be, but pretty much anyone who is always loud you want to keep away.
rule # 8. Beware of Egos
If you can avoid it, stay away from anyone who has an over inflated ego. More so if they are manipulative. Because they will make it sound like they took out every zombie for the last 8 miles. They will boss you around and not be very cool. You should have a leader, but not one who wants to lead. One that basically smacks the egotistic person over the head to lead or someone who is a closet egomaniac instead of an upfront one. Due to the fact if they are closet egomaniac while they do want to look good, they do it for you to praise them.
rule # 9 know how to drive in someway and pick your vehicle carefully.
Your car/truck/van or whatever it is you ride will be your first layer of protection in most cases. So you want to be able to drive without wrecking it and you want to be able to not be crushed in an instant by flailing bodies flying at you.
rule # 10 beware of bathrooms/ depends
like zombieland pointed out, zombies will attack when you present them an easy target. sitting on the toilet or hovering outside in the air is one, since you don't think "run" with your pants around your ankles. Zombies are like lions will strike in a group when you are at your weakest. So either you have an armed guard when you go to the bathroom or you wear stuff like depends. It could be a flying shit bomb! And if everyone is a zombie you will be able to find more adult diapers out there.
rule # 11 improvise!!
You have to be able to improvise in a world with zombies. Mainly with weapons. You never know when you will get attacked by what and whom. While sleeping with a baseball bat would be nice, it will bet broken and bent. Take note and use your surroundings. Guns run out of bullets, but if you blow up the zombies you will have them destroyed. You could beat a zombie with a fan for all I care. This also lends itself to directions as you do not know what could block you. Or dinner plans as unlike a zombie your meal you won't find huddle in a corner crying for it's mommy.
this is just the first 11 of many more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)